Confessions of a Guilty MInd

I never thought it would it would come to this.

No, never in my wildest dreams did it even strike me that one day I would be cheating on my truly beloved.

If there was anyone that knew me better than myself, it was her. I always felt safe under her sway, She never talked much, but really got me talking. I found her a few years ago, as I was searching the world for  someone who truly did understand me.

My first experience with her was just amazing, She was so smooth ,so light, and every moment with her kept me wanting for more.

Under her spell I felt more than myself, I could play the violin, the flute and the mouth organ, better than ever, not to mention that some of the best sketches I’ve done have been under her guidance.

She was always there, waiting on me, waiting to fill me with her sweetness after a hard days work, her slightest touch drove all my aches and pains away, the very presence of her got me so mentally and physically relaxed.

But I had to leave her, I had to leave her when I came back to my hometown, she insisted, but I said no. and I feel guilty about leaving her back there, locked my in my flat, praying for my safe return.

I felt the emptiness building up inside me, I needed her more than ever, and in my delirious state, I sought comfort in someone, someone who id known to trust since my childhood.

But  I was wrong.

She lured me into her bosom, played me like a violin, and in my feverish state of mind I took her in, completely.

That’s when it struck me, what was I doing? How could I have done this?

But it was too late. She had taken me completely. And I was her slave.

I don’t know why I did it, but I had no option but to have her every night, well at least till I got back.

But the nights got more painful than ever, Every night she came to me, the guiltiness crept up inside.. My soul was willing but my body was weak.

I don’t know what would happen to me, what would happen to our relationship once I meet my love, she’s def going to know I ve been with someone else. The thought itself sends shivers down my spine.

I still love her, and I know I need her more than ever.

Im sorry Tuborg, my love. Im sorry I drank bournvita wen I was away from you.

The Social Network

No it ain some crazy fan based review on the critically acclaimed hollywood movie  that got the world watching every second of it without blinking an eye or taking a coffe break or a leak for that matter.

In fact its got nothing to do about the movie.

NOTHING WHATSOEVER!

So what am i talking about then?

orkut? face book?my space?

i don't know..

Maybe its about all of em.

Maybe its about How we ve reached a time
where people prefer virtual flirting to the real thing
Where people prefer the cyber "you" rather than the real you.
Where people prefer swinging that bat with a mouse click than actually holding one
Where people prefer even having SEX online.

Ya tats what i just said ----S-E-X

OK ,...Maybe we haven reached to that stage as yet, but I can tell you for sure It wont be long
 How do i know?
Psst .Whispering: You see ..theres this friend of mine who's working at "Losers Inc" ..He's never touched a female, and no he hasn touched a guy either.
 Supposedly they are working on something that can fulfill all your perverted fantasies on a net based virtual session with all sorts of wires etc wired to your brain and your ..amm... other private parts.
Na.. It ain as simple as in the Matrix where they just plug something into you head and you get the ride ..ya I mean the "ride" of a life time.

And guess what...They wanna release it on a social Network!!
Now how cool is that!!
If you dont have an account now.Open one now ASAP!!

Or maybe, i should be saying.. how weird can people get.
So what were we talking about? Oh ya, the social networks that are out there.
Why did they start? what was the need? Was it that necessary?Cant we survive without them?

A very debatable topic, with hundreds and thousands for and against.
But that was a long time ago.
By a long time a go I mean like a year or so.

Social networks are now well established and are growing , mutating and what not.
That was what we got from facebook.
A genetically crafted Mutant with butt load of shitty goodies.

Social networking has got people close together. Its like even got you connected with people you never though you would ever meet in you life ever again( though at times you always think "Shit and i thought i was finally  rid of him" Lol)

Yup The worlds a small place now, People are connected like never before, And STILL you have some of those so called friends who never even bother to reply when you talk to em.
Hmmmm
Not their fault actually..
I mean ..look at your friends list!!! Its got like hundreds and hundreds of friends..

The promos of "the social network" had this to say

You don't get 500 million friends without making a few enemies"

In a way that actually happens you know.Even though we meet old colleagues online and  all, Each ones priorities are different. Sometimes you may never even get a reply from any one, or they would be like , Dont call us , we ll call you.Im not talking about my personal experience, My groups full of bastards :)   (in a good sense) I haven faced that problem, ad even if i did, well they weren Worth being friends anyway.

So sometimes you can end up making a couple of enemies online, ....ONLINE!!
Ya those guys who dont like you online, are even more dangerous than any hit man.
they can literally destroy you without even getting up from their seat.
Your whole life..everything ... Gone in a couple of clicks..
Your  "virtually" destroyed.

Anyways, Coming back to the social network,Lets visit the relationship status, I repeat, THE RELATIONSHIP STATUS.
Come on , If someone wanted to hit on you , they would do so even if they knew you were committed to someone. Most guys consider this to be the thrill of it
(Not to mention getting beaten up or chased by the girls BF, esp if hes the bouncer at a club)

you know the thing about guys is, that ..well they are always interested in getting things that they think is a challenge for them.
Its always on getting THAT girl to like ya, WHATEVER it takes, and once you get what you want..Well, there's no more fun  in it.the thrills not there, and its time to start stalking someone else.
So girls , watch it before saying yes to a guy, For all you know, you d just be one of his trophies!

The whole point of me saying this is cause, well, its only gonna invite more and more guys after a "committed " girl, cause getting a committed gal to fall for ya, is like the overall trophy!!.
And from another angle, maybe it cause tat gal wants em guys to stalk her like hell.!!
Come on... Anythings possible in today's world..

And ya, another reason why the relation ship thing was put up, was for "IMMEDIATE ATTENTION"

Your wall seems empty...what dya do?

A committed guy/gal, goes single.... A single goes "into a relationship" and then the whole world seems to be banging into you r wall..
SAD!!!

Sheesh, that's the world we live in now, a world
Where people siting side by side prefer chatting on their high end 3G phones
Where You type more words than you actually spoke in your entire life
Where your darkest secrets can be spread to millions within a sec!
Where virtually anything is possible

Welcome to the Social network.

 (Il be updating this post in a while, gotta go now)

Infatuation :) love :D ...& marriage :O

What is love?..

Some people just go..ahhhh.. over it.. let off a huge sigh and then start mumbling something that really seems funny to someone who's never experienced it..

But still what IS it anyway???

What the Hell is it??

How do u define it??

Can you actually tell the difference between love and infatuation?

People say that love is unconditional.. but if that was the case, why do you have to say your marriage vows, Lets put it this way, marriage has never ever been about love.(OK I know I'm wrong here in many aspects, bu t still hear me out) 90% of the time.its just that you feel, you are alone and you need a partner, and most men prefer having many partners,  but the sad part of their fantasy is that their value is like the stock market , except that you know EXACTLY when the value is gonna drop, and you need to sell yourself out before it too late, before your stock crashes.

And girls , before you start laughing, here's the thing, your value drops much faster you know, and its something your parents keep reminding you about..

So in short it’s not love that brings people to make the insane decision of tying the knot.. Its just that at one point of time they start running out of options, and well YOU HAVE TO GET MARRIED!!

But the question then pops up.. what if I don’t? what if I just wanna be alone? . I mean I'm happy the way I am.. so wat gives..

To be frank , Iv thought about it personally and the sad truth is..

YOU CAN!!

THAT’S RIGHT!! HOW ABOUT THAT!!

Actually I was just joking..

Sooner or later we all have to fall into that phase of life. You really cant be single forever,

Sooner or later,

Whether you like it or not, you  ll be forced into oblivion.

Id never forget my dads words, it was like a poem, Don’t get me wrong.. I ve never seen a happier couple than my parents J  but this was what he had to say ..

I guess its something passed on from generation to generation

“ Marriage is a life long tragedy,

Personal Disaster,

Social  Disgrace and

Universal Mistake.

And a wife's undoubtedly,

Worries Invited ForEver”

Anyways, coming to the reception part of it, Seriously. I kinda hate receptions you know. Cause of two things

Number One:

It’s a marriage reception

Number two:

Cause of  Number one.

Either half the public out there, keeps gossiping about the newly wed couple,  or half of them just came to enjoy the food, the drink and of course a night of swirling around dance floor

FOR FREE!!!!!NO CHARGES!!!

Oh ya, you don’t even need a ticket to get in, you just need to supposedly get the brides parent to recognize you, no one even remembers who was invited for that matter.

Anyways on wedding receptions its gonna be on another posting.

Coming back to love and infatuation, it gets really difficult at times to differentiate the two.

And its hard to say what you are in actually.

If you wanna protect yourself from your ex or something, when they ask for a reason for the breakup , you can easily use the excuse of infatuation to get away with it.

Its tried and tested.

And it works.

But truth be told, there is no such word as infatuation. It was just invented by some person, who couldn't believe that love was actually never eternal.

And so the word infatuation was born.

It was just a way of not facing the reality that love could die too. Infatuation was a cover up properly tailored to fit the role.

Its not my expert opinion, its just a thought… a simple thought. ..

And I see some truth in this more than what I ever saw in love.

So between infatuation love and marriage , if you ask me whats the diff, well….

Infatuation is the form of love which resembles the world as seen from a child's eyes.

Everything seems great, u don’t think about anything.u don’t worry about anything.

Love is that Phase of “love” which resembles, the world as seen by a blind man.

That’s it , you don’t see through the person as what he/she is, u accept him unconditionally(Well, terms and conditions can be applicable at times :P )

And marriage is that phase of love, where you actually see the world as it is, and face reality.(you see the person as he/she truly is, and u learn to live them, well ur doomed to be with them forever)

Well its not that you HAVE TO live with them, its just the laws a bit strict on that part :P

And plus, if u believe in oaths and “promises”.. obligations.. social status. Etc..etc.. . yup ..Ur stuck.

By the way  this is coming from some random bachelor, who’s opinion SHOULD NEVER be considered.

License to live

So i guess this would be my first blogg...
I guess the first question would be .. Why License to live?.. Could'nt I think of some other shitty stuff to talk about.. well the thing is..I think we were all sent on earth as drivers you kno.. and we ve been sitting in some random flesh molded vehicle and been driving around..like mad drivers..though sometimes it seems like u ain the one doing the driving, and tat sucks.
 I mean who wants a life where you ain in the drivers seat,  I am not saying about being selfish and self centered, but think about it. deep down i dont think theres anyone out there who would disagree with me.
For starters, as far as my biblical knowledge goes, well, God has a plan for all of us.
Doesn that really make you wonder?
We are all part of some elaborate play directed by God, and well, like most actors and actresses we tend to go offscript, and I guess, He just changes the script accordingly. Sad part is , he supposedly knows where each decision we take would lead us. Come to think of it, wouldn it be really great if the Butterfly effect actually existed
Gotta hand it to Him, I mean, Just think of the amount of time he d have to spend watching every ending of ours.Each of us could have like thousands and thousands of forks in the road, and bloody millions of endings.
Just multiply that by the amount of people breathing out there.Dont even wanna think about it..
So here we are, driving on lifes highway,following signboards, going here , goin there.
And frankly we dont kno where its gonna lead us. Scary shit at times.
Imagine driving on a highway , and there ain return traffic. Theres no goin back. nothing.No second chance...no nothing.
Its the sad truth, getting a second chance for something is like. something next to impossible. You might as well wait till ur reborn or something, only to make the same mistakes again and again.
Unlike in our world, God sent us as drivers without  issuing a license,.and i guess thats why we tend to ruin our lives.